What is the loss if the bond with the spouse is overcome at the beginning?

[Smt. Chhanda asked: Swami, in the 12th chapter of Thrylokya Gita, You have explained so nicely how the three strongest bonds have to be overcome to get salvation. From the very childhood, this part was really very interesting for me and I was always sure that since it's an action from God himself, it can never be wrong. There must be something great inside all these. I have searched for the explanations in so many books. I got answer partially which again reassured my thoughts. But now You have made my mind crystal clear. I can explain it to a layman now and probably will be able to convince some others also. But Swami, in the 9th verse, one thing still remains which is not very clear to me. You said that out of the three strongest bonds, "daresana" or the bond with the spouse is the weakest one. That is true. But why should this bond be overcome at the last? What loss or sin is associated with it if this bond is overcome at the beginning? For somebody who may not be interested in illegitimate relationships but having only attraction towards God, is it not possible for him/her to overcome the other two bonds later? Annual exam covers all the syllabus, no doubt, but how would it change the result (salvation), if the weakest part is solved first and the harder part is covered at the last. May be my mind is not mature enough to understand this well explained (by Nikhil Sir in yesterday’s Satsang) matter. I will still request You to take this pain again and make my mind clear. At Your divine lotus feet Swami, Chhanda.]

Swami replied: - There is a saying that one shall not only be justified but also shall appear as if justified. Without the dropout of other worldly bonds, if the bond with the life partner alone is dropped out, such a devotee may be misunderstood as a characterless prostitute. A real devotee may appear as prostitute to the society and the devotee may not be really a prostitute because the devotee won the weakest bond in the beginning and will win the strongest bond in the future. Even though the devotee is sincere in the line of efforts, the devotee will be stamped by society as a prostitute. Another danger is that a real prostitute may also stamp herself as the real devotee trying with the weakest bond in the beginning and trying with strong bonds in the end. A prostitute may get good name as a real devotee, but, a real devotee shall not get bad name as prostitute. A criminal may escape the punishment, but, as innocent shall not be punished and this is a famous saying in the field of Law. The effort of an individual shall have relevance to the surrounding society also. The efforts of a real devotee may be known to God in real sense, but, such efforts shall not disturb the other aspirants in the spiritual path. Due to this social view, the sages crossed the bond with life partner only in the final birth when they were born as Gopikas. Generally, the tendency is to dropout strong bonds in the beginning and then only weak bonds in the final stage.

Anyway, all the 100% worldly bonds must be dropped for the sake of God in order to get total salvation. Cutting the worldly bonds with effort is a total failure in the spiritual line. The worldly bonds shall be spontaneously dropped out without any trace of effort and such dropout shall happen only due to the attachment to God. Detachment from the world shall not be even the trace of aim. When you taste the divine nectar, all the worldly drinks must be dropped out naturally and spontaneously. This clue is very very important and is the essence of salvation in which almost all the devotees are failing.

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