09 Oct 2021
[Shri. Ganesh V asked: Padanamaskaram Swamyji, What should I do when my mother tries to hamper my mental peace? She is asking me to prepare for a government job and I honestly don't want to get one. If I say that I do not want a government job for many logical reasons, she feels that I have insulted her. Sometimes I feel the real reason that she wants me to get a government job is not for my benefit but to inflate her ego in front of her sister. Her kids study way better than I ever did and now she wants to prove them that I am better. So she wants me to write a competitive exam and get a good rank, so that she can prove her worth to her sister. Everytime she asks me whether I have written mock test or not, I try to evade it to the best of my ability. But, every time she gets to me. She guilt trips me by saying that she can retire when I get a government job because her health isn't doing great. Like her health ever depended on me getting a government job or not. She asks me to note the statistics of how many questions I got right the first time. How much second and many other circus tricks to prepare for the exam! She is threatening me to leave this current job if I don't clear it this year and sit at home and prepare the next year. She is completely insane and out of her mind. I know I can be patient and respond to the situation. But I have realized that I can be patient only if I have enough faith in you. To gain faith in you I need knowledge. But her words sometimes make me loose control that I can't even focus on knowledge and I am filled with hatred. Sometimes I want to hurt her ego so much that she would never want to speak with me ever again or shove something inside her mouth! What should I do? At Your divine feet, Ganesh V]
Swami replied:- You have to tackle the situation with detachment and trick-intelligence. Intelligence will enable you to give logical answers and detachment will give you total patience without any emotion. Don’t hurt her in anyway and deal with her like enjoying a special item in food. When a person enjoys difficulties also like hot dishes in meals, such a person is said to be a perfect Yogi (Samatvaṃ Yoga ucyate— Gītā). The person enjoying only sweet dishes refusing hot dishes will become a spiritual diabetic patient!
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