How can I analyze the knowledge and resolve the hidden doubts in my mind?

[Shri Bharat Krishna asked: Swāmi, with Your grace, I got a job just before this corona pandemic came. I moved to Bengaluru and am staying alone here doing my job. I am mostly alone at my office also and nobody disturbs me there. They give me work and leave me alone. My problem is that whenever I am with people around me, I am happy. If I am alone, I go into deep thought. Now I am reading Your knowledge. Hence, I am thinking and analysing it alone. Nikhil sir says that in the spiritual path, going slow is going fast. He also says that this lonely time of mine is a gift of God in order to do mananam (analysis, reflection). Earlier, I used to think that I am 51% good and 49% bad. But this loneliness of mine made me think very deeply about Your knowledge. Now I think that I am only 20% good and 80% bad. Although You are very close to me, I feel that I am at a very very far distance from You. I am even afraid of slipping from this spiritual path. Nikhil sir says, I have to discover my deepest doubts by doing proper analysis (mananam). When I met You in person, I told You that my mind is constantly thinking, even after understanding and deciding that my goal is to serve You. You replied that I still have some doubts and that I would not have had any more thoughts about this decision of mine, if I had truly decided and were determined to serve You. Please tell me how to find out what doubts I have? If I do not know what doubts I have, how will I get clarifications from You? Also, please teach me if there is an effective way of doing mananam that helps me understand Your knowledge better.]

Swāmi replied: Please read with patience, all the spiritual knowledge rained by God Datta through Me. Then only, you will get all the doubts resolved. These doubts are hidden in your subconscious and unconscious states. The Gopikās came to the state of highest sacrifice after spending many births as sages in which they analyzed spiritual knowledge. When the knowledge is complete—without any doubt—that itself will force you into practical devotion. Knowledge is the longest step, which is like the long academic year. Devotion is the inspiration to write the examination. Writing the examination is the practical service and sacrifice, which must be done without aspiring for any fruit in return from God.

Keywords:

| Shri Datta Swami | How can I analyze the knowledge and resolve the hidden doubts in my mind? | Gopikas Gopikaas

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