Swami, why is there not a full merge of the minds of husband and wife in this Kali age?

[Ms. Thrylokya asked:]

Swami replied:- The merge must take place between the two minds and this is the ultimate stage for marriage. When this is absent, the marriage just for the sake of merge between two physical bodies is like the union between two ignorant animals or birds. When this physical merge alone stands as the reason for marriage, none of the couples takes care about the mental qualities. In the absence of the merge of mental qualities, which is the higher state, the marriage for the sake of just physical merge fails because such physical merge can be attained illegally with others also. Then, there is no special significance of the matrimonial bond in the mind of either the husband or the wife. Based on this factor, divorce is often taking place in the present society. The tastes of minds merge when they are alike. Hence, the Manusmruti says that there shall be union of minds before the marriage (Mano Dattaa). Physical bodies have the same composition of five elements and hence, any two bodies can merge when the hormonal lust provokes. But, in the merge of minds, all minds are not made of the same qualities. Therefore, the presence of similar qualities in the minds of both bridegroom and bride is very essential for a successful married life.

Now a days, people are not caring much about this point and at present, the only point that matters mostly is the number of digits of the salary of the bride and bridegroom! Of course, it is told that the wife and husband are bonded based on the loan taken in the previous birth (Ṛṇānubandha rūpeṇa, paśu patnī sutālayāḥ). This is due to the force of the fruits of deeds (Karma Cakra). But, this does not mean that you need not follow My above said advice in the time of selecting the spouse for marriage because if you strongly follow My advice, this Karma Cakra will be altered by God because clearing the loan can take place in several other ways like association with son (suta), domestic animals (paśu) and house property (ālayāḥ) as said in the above mentioned verse. This earth is called Karma Loka or the world of free action. The fruits of previous deeds are given in the upper worlds (Bhoga Lokas) and the human birth on this earth is always with full freedom without the force of fruits of past deeds. The soul need not come as spouse only to collect the past loan taken by you from him/her (Ṛuṇānubandha), since the soul can come as your child to collect the loan. Hence, in this world, analysis and application of knowledge have no hinderance due to the past deeds.

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