28 Nov 2024
1. What is the meaning of ‘He who renounced the pleasure of a wife has renounced the pleasure of the world and God is very near to him’?
[Shri Anil Antony asked:- What is the meaning of ‘He who renounced the pleasure of a wife has renounced the pleasure of the world and God is very near to him’? This is referring to the Gospel of Ramakrishna Paramahamsa "Let me tell you something. He who has renounced the pleasure of a wife has verily renounced the pleasure of the world. God is very near to such a person."]
Swami replied:- This means that if one has defeated the bond with spouse before the bond with God, he is very near to the state of salvation from worldly bonds. But, we have found that the joint bond with money and child is the strongest bond because even the wife recommends the child to her husband to give all the property to the child only. When the fact is like this, how can the above statement be justified? The solution for this contradiction is that the above statement is not a general statement, but a statement confined to a specific situation, where a person is blindly fascinated to his spouse neglecting all the other worldly bonds before her. In view of this specific context, this statement is passed on when such a fascinated person renounced the pleasure with spouse and defeated her bond before God. Bilhana, a great poet in Sanskrit renounced his wife called Yaaminii Puurnatilakaa before the devotion to God Krishna. This happened in a very young age and hence, this statement is somewhat applicable to very young persons. Bilhana became a saint, changed his name into Liilaa Shuka and wrote a wonderful book on God Krishna called ‘Shri Krishna Karnaamrutam’.
2. What is the meaning of ‘He who is immersed in the pleasure of wife is very near to God’?
[Shri Surya asked:- What is the meaning of ‘He who is immersed in the pleasure of wife is very near to God’? Poet Vemana in Telugu wrote that unless one is lustful in worldly life, he cannot be lustful of salvation. How to interpret this?]
Swami replied:- A person, who is immersed in the pleasure of his wife is near to God and such statement can be understood only by deep analysis. Actually, worldly pleasures drag the soul away from God and pleasure with a woman is very strong among all the worldly pleasures. This means that the pleasure with one’s wife is the strongest hurdle in the spiritual path. Any quality diverted to God becomes a path to reach God. If this strongest worldly pleasure obtained from wife is diverted to God, it becomes one of the best paths to reach God as seen in the case of the Gopikas. In Telugu literature, the poet Vemana said the same that unless one become lustful, he/she can’t desire for God (Kāmi gāni mokṣa kāmi gāḍu). Gopikas were females and God Krishna was masculine. But, what about men? Shall God become a female? This question was actually projected to Me by a devotee. We must analyze the case of the spouse. Is the spouse meant for sex only? Sex is only one angle. The spouse is doing many services through the work done by the body. A wife does several services through different works using her physical body like a servant. It is also told that the wife acts like a servant (Kāryeṣu dāsī…). She is serving the husband using her intelligence in giving good advices like a minister (Karaṇeṣu mantrī…). She is cooking food and serving with full love like one’s mother (Bhojyeṣu mātā…). She is patiently bearing the atrocities and scoldings of the husband and in-laws (Kṣamayā dharitrī). How many types of services is the wife doing! Hence, the male devotee can also do all these other types of services (except sex) like Hanuman serving God Rama.
One may argue that anyway one service (sex) becomes lesser for males. If you analyze the sexual service, the wife is also getting equal pleasure like the husband. You can’t say that the wife is doing sex just for the pleasure of the husband only. In fact, Sage Yaajnavalkya said that the wife is loving the husband for her pleasure only and not for the pleasure of the husband (Ātmanastu kāmāya… Veda). On deep analysis, can we say that the participation of the wife in sex can be called as real service at all? Therefore, all the other types of services are real services because those are done for the pleasure of the other side only. Even the food is cooked for the sake of the husband as the main aim, since the wife eats the remains of the husband in the same plate! If you see the case of monkeys participating in the war on the side of God Rama, they were prepared for the terrible torture with opponent weapons and even for severe death! The spouse is giving her body to the husband just for her pleasure only. Can you compare this to the sacrifice of the monkeys? This doesn’t mean that females are lesser than males. There may be females, who sacrificed their bodies for death in similar way. The Gopikas jumped into the fire after God Krishna left His gross body. There is no gender-difference in sacrifice since the additional aspect of sex in the case of females is ruled out by Sage Yajnyavalkya in the Veda. Since the additional aspect is ruled out, all souls become equal in the concept of sacrifice for God. Even in the sweet devotion, the total surrender of the soul is the main concept and such total surrender is not affected by the lack of sex. Draupadi as sister defeated all the romantic bonds of God Krishna by tearing her new sari for the bandage of the bleeding finger of God Krishna while all the romantic bonds ran in all the directions for a piece of cloth!
In spite of all this analysis, most of the souls are born as females in the final birth to get rid of their inevitable male ego and in such a case, coincidentally, the test in sweet devotion is also conducted. Sweet devotion has its own inherent value to become one of the best paths to reach God. In view of this point only, the above statement can be justified. However, in the case of the Gopikas, who were sages doing penance for the past several births, we can’t expect hormonal provoked lust, which desires selfish happiness alone (and not the happiness of the husband) since lust was burnt by them. Their pure love (devotion) based lust in the dance can’t have selfish desire for self-happiness neglecting the happiness of the other side. In their case, the entire pure love-based lust is only for the happiness of God Krishna and hence, their sweet devotion without such beastly hormonal lust is topmost pure. In the souls other than Gopikas, we can’t expect such pure love-based lust. Therefore, the sweet devotion of the Gopikas alone is the best path in which they totally surrendered their minds, words and physical bodies. Sage Narada told that if they had even a trace of hormonal provoked lust, they would have gone to hell like any other sinner (Tadvihīnaṃ jārāṇāmiva).
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