Why must married women wear the mangala sutram at all times?

[Smt. Sanjana asked: Praṇām Swāmi! I have read Your articles and most of the answers have satisfied my heart. I have this question about our society in my heart for a long time. Please help me by answering it. Excuse me, Swāmi, for my ignorance.

Society requires married women to wear the maṅgala sūtram in their necks, and bangles in their hands, at all times. My feeling is that purity and loyalty (pavitra bhāva) towards the husband should constantly be there in the heart of the woman, instead of just making it a rule to wear these ornaments physically. One of my relatives says that if a married woman does not wear the maṅgala sūtram, her husband would be harmed. Hence, she should wear it all the time and should never remove it, even by mistake. Will God harm my husband, if I do not wear the maṅgala sūtram? Also, what is the purpose of just wearing it and not having that pure loyalty to the husband? It feels like outwardly pretending to have devotion (bhakti), without any heartfelt love for him.

Why are men not bound by any such rules? Why does society always impose such rules only on women and not on men? As You have said in one of Your articles, God is the only Puruṣa and all souls come under the category of creation (prakṛti). My heart strongly agreed with this concept. Then why does society differentiate between women and men? Thank You Swāmi. Please excuse me, if there is anything wrong in my questions. By, Sanjana.]

Swāmi replied: There are several religions in which married ladies do not wear the maṅgala sūtram and yet, no harm comes to their husbands! One must explain the concept behind such traditions and not threaten the public with false threats. You are perfectly correct in saying that having the sacred feeling of marriage is important. That same sacred feeling is represented by the maṅgala sūtram. The internal feeling may sometimes weaken or disappear. In that situation, the external object (maṅgala sūtram) reminds you about the feeling. This is also the purpose of a statue or an image of God. It is a tool for the mind to help us remember God and develop devotion.

You have misunderstood our religion for showing partiality towards men over women. In the women, men also exist! Originally, there was no partiality in the Hindu religion. But later, followers did show partiality towards men. In this matter of the maṅgala sūtram, however, there is no partiality. There is a similar social requirement for men too. A young boy before getting married wears a sacred thread consisting of three strands. Upon getting married, he has to wear a sacred thread consisting of six or nine strands. He too is supposed to wear the sacred thread at all times. So, only on this matter, I cannot support you. Of course, that sacred thread is worn only by the males belonging certain upper castes and that is partiality. Swāmi Dayānanda, a Human Incarnation of God, corrected this practice. He said that the privilege of wearing the sacred thread depends upon a person’s caste as determined by the person’s qualities and deeds and not by birth or gender. I certainly support you on several other issues such as the suppression of females by not allowing them to wear the sacred thread, not allowing them to read the Veda, not allowing them the right to property etc. Thinking of God as the only male and all souls as females is a very important concept. But it is a concept pertaining only to the climax of nivṛtti (spiritual path) and not to the ordinary basic pravṛtti (worldly path).

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| Shri Datta Swami | Why must married women wear the maṅgala sūtram at all times? | mangala sutram