25 Jun 2024
[Shri Tinku K asked: This question was asked by My friend Sharath Chandra.
Pada Namaskaram Swamy, Do we really need to help those who abandoned us during hardship, especially relatives and friends? When we were fortunate, everyone flocked to enjoy our wealth. Yet, when our family business failed, no one offered a helping hand—not even a meal, a single penny, or a word of comfort. However, by God's grace, we rebuilt our fortune, and now everyone's back, circling us like vultures, expecting more.
Despite my parents' blind fascination towards relatives, they believe it's their own family. They don't seem to understand that these people, who were well-off during our struggles and wouldn't even offer a single meal, don't deserve our generosity. After the business failed, we went to our village where we studied up to high school. Some people there offered food to us for free. Some relatives stayed in our village, while others lived in cities. When we visited relatives' homes, they treated us poorly and had arguments with their own family members, like husband and wife or mother and daughter.
Ironically, our neighbors, who borrow from these same relatives, question why we continue to support them with money and food. They act like they are the poorest in the world, who don't have money for a single meal, taking money and gifts from my parents. But actually, now our business is also going into losses. We sold most of our properties and don't have our own house. We have loans and interest to clear with limited properties. We are going into debt by giving them money, yet even when they were fortunate, they sometimes didn’t offer us tea or water. We would have food at our home and then go to their homes. They want their children and grandchildren to enjoy living in my rented room and expect us to take care of them for life.
Additionally, my parents' health is in bad condition. My parents feel ashamed to admit that we are in financial trouble because they fear losing fame in society. With Your grace and knowledge, Swami, we don't want to intentionally hurt, be jealous, or scold our relatives. Please give me a solution on how to handle them in pravrutti.]
Swami replied:- This is the blindness caused by worldly bonds in Pravrutti. Sage Yaajnyavalkya said that every worldly bond loves you for their happpiness only and not for your happiness (Ātmanaḥ kāmāya sarvaṃ priyaṃ bhavati). This point applies to every worldly bond without any exception. Only in the bond with God, God loves you for your happiness only and not for His happiness because God is not in need of anything from you. This is the reason why spiritual life or Nivrutti (bond with God) is real and far far better and wiser than the blind worldly life or Pravrutti (bond with any worldly thing or worldly person). You can read this message and explain it to those worldly people, whom you want to properly deal with.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★