24 May 2024
[Shri Phani asked:- Swami, this question belongs to pure Pravrutti (worldly life). In marriage selection, why are girls always seeking grooms of a higher height?]
Swami replied:- Even though this belongs to pure Pravrutti, it is concerned with the state of householdership (Gruhasthaashrama), which is very essential for the generation of future generations that are needed for the entertainment of God because the creation shall contain not only inert items but also non-inert souls having awareness, just like in a drama. The height of the husband must be greater than the height of the wife and here, height does not mean physical height of the body. The husband is always elder than the wife and hence, the wife shall respect the husband. For such purpose, the physical height is not at all the criterion. Here, height means more education and more earning capacity. Without understanding the inner meaning of the word ‘height’, people have misunderstood this. The word ‘Aunnatyam’ means more height, meaning more greatness and not more physical height.
For Gruhasthaashrama, sex education is the background. For this purpose, Sage Vaatsaayana wrote the famous book called the Kaama Suutram or Sex Education. In sex education, one must not see vulgarity and it should be viewed as a science related to medical education, especially based on the anatomy of the body. In olden days, a pregnant lady was approaching a male doctor for delivery. The concentration of the doctor was always on the easy delivery of the issue and not on the private part of the lady. If the doctor concentrates on the issue of delivery of issue, he will be paid sufficient fees with gratefulness. If the doctor is attracted by the private part of the lady during the delivery, he will be beaten with chappals! Hence, the angle of view is important in the explanation of this question. The householdership shall be treated as holy because sex is considered to be the service of God to entertain Him by generating children for the next generation. In this way, sex is considered to be a holy sacrifice. This is the reason why sex education was exhibited on the walls of the temples through statues. The sense here is that just like the temple is sacred, sex education is also sacred. The temple contains God inside and for His continuous entertainment to be extended to the next generations, production of children is essential and hence, sex education is depicted on the external walls of the temple. In this way, both the inner God and the outer depicted sex education (necessary for God’s continuous entertainment) are interrelated. The sacred sex is included as one of the four subjects of a soul (Purushaarthaas), which are Dharma (ethics), Artha (financial earning), Kaama (sex with spouse) and Moksha (salvation from worldly bonds due to strong attraction to God). In order to help the creation of the future generation, very powerful hormones were also created by God, which provoke lust causing sex. The Veda also says that after education (Brahmacarya aashrama), marriage is essential to generate the future generation (Prajātantuṃ mā vyavacchetsīḥ…). Very few exceptional devotees were exempted from marriage (like Shankara, Miira, etc.) since they have reached the climax devotion to God (Na karmaṇā na prajayā…- Veda). All this introduction is given by Me so that the answer given is not misunderstood as the concept of vulgarity.
The physical height of the groom shall be exactly equal with the physical height of the bride. This total physical height is divided into three sub-heights. Each sub-height of both shall also be equal. The three sub-heights are:- i) The height from feet to the waist. ii) The height from waist to beginning of neck. iii) The height of the neck and head. The first equal sub-height becomes very much convenient for the intercourse (copulation or aabhyantararatam). The second equal sub-height becomes very much convenient for the embracement (hugging or baahyaratam). The third equal sub-height becomes very much convenient for kissing the lips by lips (baahyaratam). Here, you must note that the sub-height of stomach shall be equal to the other sub-height of stomach and the sub-height of the chest shall be equal to the sub-height of the other chest. Similarly, the sub-height of the neck shall be equal to the sub-height of other neck and the sub-height of the face shall be equal to the sub-height of the other face. Then only, the total heights and all the sub-heights become equal. If a bride foolishly insists on the higher physical height of the groom, she has to bring a small wooden stool along with other items like utensils, etc., with her to embrace her husband in standing position! The above concept of equal height is very much convenient for hugging in standing, sitting and lying positions.
When Sita asked Hanuman to describe the physical body of God Rama, Hanuman gave a vast explanation of the body of God Rama. In this explanation, the details of anatomy of the body are also given as per the commentaries of scholars in Sundarakaanda of the Valmiki Ramayanam. The external features of the identity of God Rama are also mentioned by Hanuman. In such external explanation, Hanuman said that not only the total heights of Rama and Sita are equal but also the sub-heights are equal (Triṣu caiva samonnataḥ). The commentaries also mentioned this point as a part of the anatomy of the skeleton of the body. Of course, the perfect anatomy of the skeleton also contributes to the beautiful external physiology of the body. The aim of Sita in asking this question is to know whether Hanuman met and saw God Rama or not, so that she wanted to clarify her doubt about Ravana appearing as Hanuman again to cheat her. For such information, the external identity is very much useful than the internal anatomy of the invisible skeleton. Hence, My explanation is more proper than those explanations. The topic of sex gained a lot of over attraction since it is maintained as a top secret. In the view of scientific analysis, if it is explained as a topic of medical science, the unnecessary over attraction disappears. The Gita says that the justified sex with spouse to generate future generation in the service of God is as holy as God Himself (Dharmāviruddhaḥ kāmo'smi).
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