31 Mar 2024
[By Noishadha]
Paadanamskaram Swami,
About four weeks ago, I was a little stressed out unable to find a part-time job on campus. I had been searching everywhere but couldn't land anything. Then one day, I was half asleep in semi-conscious state, where I was randomly saying things without any thought. I suddenly blurted out some bitter words without even realising it. I said, "Swami, even with You around, why can't I find a job?". As soon as I said it, I snapped awake, feeling very guilty at my audacity to even say that to Swami. I was indirectly questioning Him, why doesn't He use His omnipotence for this small need of mine. This kind of aspiration for fruit in return for our devotion was condemned by Swami at all the places in His knowledge. Swami always says that loving God without any aspiration in return is the life of spiritual path. Swami even told me personally not to aspire anything from God. I know that although I had said in dream state, it is not an excuse to say such a thing. It must be the reflection of my unconscious inner desire to attain from Swami and Swami mirrored it to alert me from fall off the spiritual path. I immediately apologised to Swami in my thoughts, saying “Swami, I didn’t mean to say anything like that and I don’t know where that thought came from. Swami, what I said was something with aspiration. I am completely fine with no job and that is not an excuse to disturb You. I am thankful for all that You are giving me and all that You are not giving me. Whatever You do is for my welfare only. I am very very sorry, Swami”.
Miraculously, the same day, within an hour, I got a phone call from an old roommate asking if I still needed a job. She mentioned that her supervisor was looking for someone. Before I knew this, I had a job offer! It was unbelievable because I had been searching for so long and suddenly, this opportunity came out of nowhere. Even the timing was perfect and taught me a great lesson. To rule out the consideration of this miracle as co-incident, there are another proofs as well. The supervisor needed someone only for particular three days in a week, which happened to be the exact days I was free this semester. Swami clearly tailored this job offer for me with utmost kindness. Getting a job in the same field and on the same particular week days I was available, was definitely due to Swami’s will as there are some friends of mine, who visited the same supervisor for job and the supervisor replied that there was no vacancy left. It is all Swami’s grace that He showered on me, without me deserving anything. Thank you so much Swami, for showering your immense love and grace on me even though I am completely undeserving.
At Your Divine Lotus Feet,
Your servant,
Noishadha
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