12 Jun 2022
[By Smt. Chhanda Chandra]
Padanamaskaram to Swami.
Every day in my life I’m experiencing some or the other form of miracle. It is happening only due to your infinite kindness to all of us.
Today I would like to share the beautiful process of coming to this stage of feeling your presence around me which I think is the most wonderful miracle of my life as too many miracles are comprised in it. This started with the very first miracle with my birth to such parents for whom bringing up a child was given the utmost priority. Though it was a needy family economically, but more than the need, human values were always more important. At every step my parents corrected me for the right direction. Whenever any dispute used to take a place involving us, we were asked to rectify ourselves irrespective of the fault being committed by us or not. The environment around us was very negative specially for a girl child who wanted to stand on her own feet. But fortunately, by God’s grace, I was gifted with such parents and few more people who really were inspiration for me and loved me as the way I was, always encouraged me to stick to my goal. My parents stood by my side and faced all the difficulties themselves as for them it was their duty to fulfil my dreams be it practical or spiritual.
All these positive people around me made me feel like moving on forward by ignoring many things which could make me weak and stop me to chase my goal. At the same time, I used to think about what may be the purpose behind gifting me so many good people around me. There must be some good motive of God and I kept on asking this question to my dad. He used to tell me that it is God’s grace only that I am so lucky in this sense and also not to forget these days as they were my stepping stones.
Then suddenly a time came when the persons whom I respected so much, either passed away or got shifted to somewhere else. Through these losses, I started to ponder over “Is there anyone really there who stays with me forever”? But the only answer I got from my dad is, “If you really want to know the answer, you really need to approach God with full devotion. Don’t even try to use God just for fulfilling your selfish benefit. He will definitely give you all the answers. So, start Aradhana from the bottom of your heart. You will definitely reach Him.”
This answer really made me inspired but at the same time confusing also as, who will guide me in the right direction in human form? Can I ever be so fortunate that I will come in contact with God Himself? All these questions led me to read various spiritual articles that used to come with the newspaper and of course stories from Ramayana and Mahabharata made me feel like searching more for the Unimaginable.
But again, the same thinking of how can an insignificant girl like me can experience God directly, stirred me to feel that I am definitely not eligible for this. Again, I gathered some courage from inside, started to think about Swami Vivekananda, disciples of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu etc. who have experienced God directly and their devotion and hardwork that have made possible to achieve such feet. I must put some effort. The hardship in practical life along with the readings of the lives of Human incarnations like Ramakrishna Paramahansa, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, Shirdi Sai Baba, Goutam Buddha increased my hunger for the Unimaginable.
I didn’t know that this phase of hunger was going to be the most miraculous moment of my life. This is the time when I came to Mumbai and came across the divine knowledge of You Swami through Surya sir in the year 2003/2004. I started to read all your discourses and my inner self which is like a small piece of iron, automatically got attracted towards the giant magnet (Swami) as all my queries that I had in my heart for so many long years, were answered and the outer covers of my mind started to fall one by one through exfoliation. I felt like this is what exactly I wanted and also let me practice what is taught here. Because I was not sure whether I will be able to really practice all these in my life or not, slowly I tried to apply this true knowledge in my time of difficulties (though painful) and after a few years I saw that I am in a much better condition and also felt that these hard times only have took me closer to God. For the first time ever, I wholeheartedly appreciated the values of difficult times which are like opportunities to understand life and experience the Unimaginable in my life.
Swami, it is You who made me feel like I can also approach God to get the proper direction in my life, that too from a person for whom I was waiting all along from my childhood. Before this, I tried to get this direction from various spiritual books from various spiritual organizations and also from some spiritual leaders. But they could not quench my thirst. After learning Your crystal-clear knowledge, I started to realize the presence of You around me either in the form of various dreams (all of which have become reality) or in the form of satisfaction after applying your knowledge in practical life even though I did not receive the result in the way I wanted.
Finally, all these experiences confirmed that Swami, You are none other than my Lord Krishna, whom I have worshipped in my mind. I also experienced that the moments when there was purity in my thoughts, the things came out to be positive only even though it was delayed. One such example is that during my pregnancy, doctor used to tell that whenever she is seeing me, she can feel the presence of God in my case as I was the only patient who didn’t face even a slight difficulty throughout the period. Each of my family member felt the presence of God in my case.
Lot of difficulties also got surfaced during that time through my mother’s health and it was a time when decision was taken to place pace maker in her chest due to a problem in her heart. Everything was arranged accordingly. But the grace of God again fell down on us in the form of a revelation that my mother is perfectly well and there was no need to go through any such procedures at all. My father told, it is none other than God who is always watching us and doing the best for us. Me too thought the same and the faith became stronger.
Another observation is that when there was even an iota of selfish purpose, result did not turn out at all for me. So, the faith towards God went on increasing from another angle also. Thereafter, there is no stopping.
Now when I sit and analyse, I find that the God for whom I was dreaming of to achieve, is none other than You Swami who has continuously helped me in shaping my materialistic as well as spiritual life. It is You, who is my Ramkrishna or Chaitanya Mahaprabhu as you have convinced me that way. I now also see the motive which I wanted to know during my childhood and no doubt the goal of my life has been achieved but I pray for taking it to greater heights with your grace only. So, I would really request you Swami from the bottom of my heart that never let me be slipped from the feet of You and Your grace. As you are the Deendayal, kindly keep the torch “ON” in my path also. I always want to be at the divine lotus feet of You my Lord.
Thus, the journey of my life so far has itself become a miracle for me in this way by reaching to You. Not only reaching, the time spent with you during this April when I witnessed You in Your regular routine is the most memorable and pleasant part of this journey. Hearing different experiences from You by Your Sreemukh throughout the day, was indeed a blessing for me. In addition, coincidentally, it has so happened that I was just going through a book on Ramakrishna during that time, which describes the daily routine of His and surprisingly enough I felt that the book has become a reality where I am seeing my God in His daily life. This was just beyond my imagination. This kindness I will never forget in my life. For that I can only say with my folded hands a million times thank you.
Swami, if I have done any mistake in analyzing this process, please correct me as you are the sarvajnya (omniscient). As from my side I think this is the real miracle.
Now I would like to take this opportunity to also include some of Yours associated jewels (as You always say your miracles) in my life, which are life saving for Your devotees, especially for someone of lesser mortal like me. You are always there to save us. Out of many, I will mention a very few of them which have happened very recently.
These are the few moments when I feel Swami around me. Like these, there are so many occasions that are taking place every day, which are just not possible to describe.
At the end I just want to thank you, though I know how insignificant this word is before you. But I have no words to thank you really enough. Please pardon me Swami if I have gone wrong somewhere.
Padanamaskaram Swami.
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